tri-SARAH-tops

i really never thought that there'd be this much temptation in richmond. i was hoping that i would come down here to school and be completely involved with school and not have to deal with anything - or anyone - distracting me. unfortunately that isn't the case.
i got a phone call today from one of my boyfriend's friends who is stationed at Fort Benning, too. the first thing he said to me was "i know we're not that close, and we just started talking, but i just wanted to tell you not to break up with Wesley while he's at basic training". i really didn't know what to say. of course i would never do that. but wait, would i? i've never been a person to be able to say "no", but i feel like i've changed. but maybe i haven't. i told his friend that i couldn't picture myself being with anyone else, and that i'd never do anything to hurt Wesley, especially while he's helpless in Georgia working his ass off in 110 degree weather. am i that heartless?
his friend, who's name is Hawkins, told me that him and his girlfriend broke up when he was in basic. they're no longer together. when i asked him why they're not together anymore, he told me that she cheated on him. i could have figured as much.
i was confused as to why Hawkins had to call me to tell me not to cheat on my boyfriend. like he said, he doesn't know me that well, so where does he get off telling me this? the whole conversation was confusing, and almost depressing. i know that this is hard for both me and Wesley, as well as his family. and i keep hoping that he's not going to come back from training and be a completely heartless military freak. although Hawkins would not reassure me of this, Carolyn, Wesley's little sister, did. immediately after hanging up with Hawkins, i knew i needed to talk to Wesley's mom; but his little sister answered. Carolyn reassured me that nothing like that was going to happen, and that if he does change, that just means that he wasn't really the person i knew to begin with, and it would be ok. she also told me that i know wesley better than anyone -- even her, which was shocking.
i guess it's getting progressively less hard for me not being able to talk to a person that i spent practically 12 hours with for an entire month. but when i think about how long it'll be until i see him again, i begin to have a panic attack. i can't wait until the moment i see him, completely grown up out of the army. hopefully it'll be a happy moment, and not regrettable. i know that he's going to change, but i know it'll be for the better. not every person who comes out of the military ends up a stiff, non-emotional person. at least that's what i like to tell myself.