i just got back from dinner with Thai about an hour ago. we went to the Charthouse, which is a really expensive restaurant in Old Town Alexandria. don't ask me why we went there, because i wouldn't be able to tell you. i told him that we should go there as a joke, but i guess he took it seriously. the food was amazing, but now i'm feeling kind of sick, which is no good.
in case you didn't get this already, i'm back home with my family. me and Katie came home Friday afternoon, and got here around 3:30. it's been pretty much an awful experience since i walked into my house. my mom and i have not stopped fighting since i've seen her, and even before i saw her she called me to yell at me. she took my car keys away, too. basically there's no point in me even being home, except to get free food and spend quality time with the one thing who actually wants me to be here -- my cat.
we went to Glory Day's the night that i came home, and that was a big blow out. i got into a yelling argument with my stepdad on the way home from dinner, and ended up not talking to either of them until the next morning. me and my mom went to lowes today to get supplies for my studio art classes, and we got into another huge fight about the car. i guess i kind of think that i'll be able to talk her out of it somehow, but i know that's not going to happen.
needless to say i haven't been able to go and see Wesley's family at all since i've been home. that's kind of a bummer. i was supposed to go to church with his little sister tomorrow morning, but i don't think i'm going to do that. without a car, it seems just pointless. i'm 18 years old and i have to have my boyfriends 16 year old sister come and pick me up. i'm a fucking college student for christ's sake. i should be allowed to drive the car that i've been driving for the past year and a half for the weekend that i come home.
i'm thinking that i shouldn't have even come home in the first place. i feel like after this weekend, me and my mom won't be talking as much as we were the past two weeks. i think that's really sad. i want more than anything to have a productive relationship with her, but i don't understand half of the things that she does. i find myself having to bite my tongue so many times to not flip out on her. it's completely a miscommunication problem. she doesn't understand what i'm trying to say, and i clearly don't understand what she's trying to say. but i try. i really do and i know she doesn't really see that, but i swear i'm trying. because deep down inside i know we should have a better relationship. i know that i shouldn't have a better relationship with my boyfriends mother, than my own mother. my mom claims that the reason why Wesley's mom is able to be so sweet and nice to me is because she doesn't have to deal with the responsibility of me. meaning that my mom has to deal with all the money i spend, all the times i crash my car, all the times i fuck up. Wesley's mom deals with none of that. and i guess my mom is right.
but there comes a time when i should stop being her "little girl" and start being the grown person that she raised. i know she may not be completely happy with the way that i turned out, but she could try to accept it for the sake of our relationship. because it's slowly deteriorating. and it sucks.