ALL YOU RICH FUCKERS SEE THE BEGINNING OF THE END AND TAKE WHAT YOU CAN WHILE YOU CAN. YOU IMAGINE THAT YOU WILL GET AWAY, BUT YOU'VE SHIT IN YOUR OWN BED AND YOU'RE THE ONE TO SLEEP IN IT. WHY SHOULD EVERYONE ELSE STAY BEHIND AND SMELL YOUR STINKING COWARDICE? HERE'S A MESSAGE TO YOU-- SPACE TRAVEL IS UNCERTAIN AND ANY REFUGE OF YOURS CAN BE BLOWN OFF THE MAP. THERE'S NO OTHER PLACE FOR YOU TO GO. KNOW THAT YOUR FUTURE IS WITH US SO DON'T GIVE US MORE REASONS TO HATE YOU. WHEN YOU START TO LIKE PAIN THINGS GET INTERESTING. PAIN IS THE COMMON RESULT OF A SUBORDINATE POSITION. TRADITIONALLY, SUFFERING IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND UNDESIRABLE. PERHAPS IT IS MORE INTELLIGENT TO CULTIVATE PAIN AS A MEANS OF LIBERATION? IS IT POSSIBLE THAT ENJOYMENT OF PAIN CAN BE SUBVERSIVE? WHEN ONE DOES NOT FEAR PAIN, ONE CANNOT BE MANIPULATED. WHEN AROUSED BY SUFFERING, ONE CAN CONTROL ANY RELATIONSHIP. WHEN AGONY SEASES TO BE A BARRIER, DEATH IS NOT FORBIDDING. THE IMPLICATIONS ARE MARVELOUS. PAIN IS NOT OPPRESSIVE, BUT STRENGTHENING AND MOST SUBLIME. IT IS NECESSARY ONLY TO DENY THE PLEASURE-PAIN DICHOTOMY. THE MOST EXQUISITE PLEASURE IS DOMINATION. NOTHING CAN COMPARE WITH THE FEELING. THE MENTAL SENSATIONS ARE EVEN BETTER THAN THE PHYSICAL ONES. KNOWING YOU HAVE POWER HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST HIGH, THE GREATEST COMFORT. IT IS COMPLETE SECURITY, PROTECTION FROM HURT.WHEN YOU DOMINATE SOMEBODY YOU'RE DOING HIM A FAVOR. HE PRAYS SOMEONE WILL CONTROL HIM. YOU'RE HELPING HIM WHILE HELPING YOURSELF. EVEN WHEN YOU GET MEAN HE LIKES IT. SOMETIMES HE'S ANGRY AND FIGHTS BACK BUT YOU CAN HANDLE IT. HE ALWAYS REMEMBERS WHAT HE NEEDS. YOU ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT. YOU GET AMAZING SENSATIONS FROM GUNS. YOU GET RESULTS FROM GUNS. MAN IS AN AGGRESSIVE ANIMAL; YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD OFFENSE AND A GOOD DEFENSE. TOO MANY CITIZENS THINK THEY ARE HELPLESS. THEY LEAVE EVERYTHING TO THE AUTHORITIES AND THIS CAUSES CORRUPTION. RESPONSIBILITY SHOULD GO BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. IT IS YOUR LIFE SO TAKE CONTROL AND FEEL VITAL. THERE MAY BE SOME ACCIDENTS ALONG THE PATH TO SELF-EXPRESSION AND SELF- DETERMINATION. SOME HARMLESS PEOPLE WILL BE HURT. HOWEVER, G-U-N SPELLS PRIDE TO THE STRONG, SAFETY TO THE WEAK AND HOPE TO THE HOPELESS. GUNS MAKE WRONG RIGHT FAST. WHAT SCARES PEASANTS IS THINKING THEIR BODIES WILL BE THROWN OUT IN PUBLIC AND LEFT TO ROT. THEY FEEL SHAME- AS IF IT MATTERS WHAT POSITION THEIR LEGS ARE IN WHEN THEY'RE DEAD. LUCKY THEY'RE SUPERSTITIOUS BECAUSE THEY'RE EASIER TO MANAGE.. MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF TWO OR THREE REBELS, DROP THEIR BODIES BY THE ROAD, GET THEM FLAT AND DRY SO BONES SHOW AND THE GRASS WEARS THE CLOTHES. SHOOT THE FINGERS OFF ANYONE WHO COMES TO COLLECT THE REMAINS. THOSE BODIES STAY AS A SIGN OF ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY. IF PEASANTS THINK THAT THEIR SOULS CAN'T REST, SO MUCH THE BETTER. YOU GET SO YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE HALF-DEAD VAGRANTS ON THE STREET. THEY'RE ONLY DIRTY GHOSTS. THE ONES WHO SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE ARE THE UNEMPLOYED WHO AREN'T WEAK YET. THEY STILL CAN FIGHT AND RUN WHEN THEY WANT TO. THEY STILL THINK, AND YET THEY KNOW THEY HATE YOU. YOU WON'T BE A PRETTY SIGHT IF THEY GO FOR YOU. WHEN YOU'RE OUT WALKING YOU LOOK AT THE MEN FOR SIGNS OF LINGERING HEALTH AND OBVIOUS HATRED. YOU EVEN WATCH THE FALLEN ONES WHO MIGHT MAKE A LAST MOVE, WHO MIGHT CLAW YOUR ANKLE AND TAKE YOU DOWN.
that was what we looked at today in Surface Research. we went to the library and looked at a special collection that the teacher had put together. everything in there was pretty awesome. especially the peices by Jenny Holzer. don't get me wrong, i don't agree with anything that she's ranting about. however, i think it's really interesting to read rants like that. and i would definately recomment and of Jenny Holzers work. it's all really conceptual and weird, but interesting nonetheless.
alright so anyways. not a lot has been going on lately. i started an art project today two hours before it was due, and the professor actually really liked it. in the process of making it i almost burned down the dorm though, which was pretty bad, but still. i wasn't really too happy with the outcome, because i know that if i wouldn't have procrastinated like i did i would have done so much better. but if she liked what i threw together in 2 hours before class, then she'll have to like what i spend a shitload of time on, right?
katie and i are both kind of sick with some sort of common cold thing. she's been coughing a lot, and it's pretty annoying because it sounds like she's about to puke or like throw up her lung or something. it's just a bunch of phlegm.. i think that's how you spell that.
i know you all are just DYING to hear about Wesley. but there's really nothing to tell. i haven't talked to him or gotten a letter in the past few days, which is a bummer, but i guess i'm used to it by now. his little sister Carolyn started school on tuesday, which was yesterday, and she's really unhappy with it. i'm not sure why, but i have a good guess that it's probably something to do with her exboyfriend or fake friends. you know, the same old "junior in high school" story. i know me and katie both went through the "fake friends" deal sophomore and junior year. and it sucks. you think you know someone, and then you find out that apparently they were nothing like you thought they were. and it blows, but you get over it eventually. luckily i've never had to deal with the awkward exboyfriend thing in highschool, because most all of the guys that i've dated have gone to different schools. i dated one guy who went to my school, but we started dating after graduation, so there was no awkward passing in the hallways or anything like that. i did have to go through the awkward "hey i used to date you but now i'm dating your good friend" thing, and the "hey i broke up with you not because i didn't want a relationship but because you're fucking insane" thing. both of those kind of suck. luckily when i started dating my ex's good friend (who is actually Wesley) it wasn't awkward. mainly because my ex really didn't hang out with them that much, because he likes to sit at home and drink with his family. weird? i don't know. he broke up with me, so i don't think he was really that upset. as far as the whole "hey i broke up with you not because i didn't want a relationship but because you're fucking insane" thing goes, that was really hard. me and that exboyfriend were really good friends.. and friends with benefits before we dated. now our relationship is completely ruined. i'm not even sure why i dated him in the first place. there was one time where i went to the pool with a girl that i'm friends with and one of my best friends, Kurt, and my exboyfriend (boyfriend at the time) got so upset at me that he was practically crying. that night i went to a party at Kurt's house, and my ex lives right down the street from him. i went over there to try to fix things, because we really shouldn't have been fighting about something so petty. he threw a rubix cube at me. who does that? honestly. and it just went downhill from there. i've had some pretty crappy relationships.
on another note, it smells like something died in our room, and i'm really not sure what it is. i'm going to have to take out the febreeze.