there are few people in my life that i can say i genuinely dislike. one of them is my father. and one of them is my exboyfriend, Michael Brooks.
i know that this is really cliche. i'll try to make it not.
me and Mike had a huge history. for the 6 months before we started dating, we would hook up constantly. he'd drag me around, using me, all the time for 6 entire months. being a girl, and having feelings, i started to really like him. unfortunately, it was more about the sex for him.
we had a pattern to our relationship. we'd start talking, then we'd start flirting, then we'd have sex, he'd stop talking to me for about a week or two, and then we'd start talking again. this took a huge toll on me. i couldn't understand how i could like this guy so much when he'd walk all over me. we would fight constantly, about nothing. just stupid stuff that he would do. we hated eachother. but this made the physical connection we had 10 times better.
Mike started dating a freshman at our highschool around March. she was 14 years old, and he was 18. she was also one of his good friend's exgirlfriends. for some reason, this caused a huge uproar with all of our friends. especially me. now, i'm the kind of person who will be passive aggressive. i would never go up to Mike and yell at him for dating this stupid girl, when clearly i was head over heels for him. when we would talk i'd slide in snarky (google that, it's a word) comments, just to see if he'd still have a reaction about it.
while Mike and this girl were dating, Mike would call me all the time while he was high. he'd tell me how badly he wanted me, and everything. but the next day when i'd call him out about it, he'd deny the whole thing. he'd say "Sarah, i'm trying to be a good boyfriend." yeah bullshit. + that's why you called me last night, right? yeah ok.
him and this girl broke up about a month after they started dating. of course, me and Mike hooked up. he told me not to tell anyone about it because he would get in trouble with the girl. i should have just left it at that; not dealt with it anymore. but no, of course not. i couldn't let this go. i don't know why. the girl found out that we'd hooked up, and Mike had lied to her about it. they should have broken up, but he sweettalked his way out of it and she stayed with him.
but eventually they did end things. of course, i was still bitter. but Mike kept getting in contact with me. it started out the same way it always did. harmless flirty leading to smoking pot and then having sex in my car. he used to tell me how much he liked me and all this other crap that i believed.
i'm not sure what it was, but one day i finally gave in. when me and Mike first started dating, things were really hard. i liked him, but i wasn't totally in it, and he knew that. the relationship was doomed from the start. we faught all the time, and it was just awful. there were some good times, i suppose. he bought me flowers and was greatful, i guess, to have me. i know that he really liked me, but i couldn't let myself completely fall for him again. after what he did to me, i couldn't let that happen again.
i went to the beach in July. Wesley and his family was also there. Wes called me the day that we were driving down there saying that he was going to be down there, too, and that i should call him. i knew Wesley through my other exboyfriend, Andrew, and i'd always liked him. after me and Andrew broke up, i told myself that i'd stay friends with his friends, and i did. me and Wesley would talk a lot, and hang out sometimes. i'd always had a little thing for him, but i knew that it'd never happen because of my history with one of his good friends. in girl law you don't date your friends ex's. apparently that doesn't apply for guys.
me and Wesley started hanging out a lot at the beach. i'm not sure what it was, but i wasn't thinking of Mike at all. i acted towards Wesley the way that i would act towards anyone that i was trying to get with. i didn't realize that it would turn into anything more than that, but in all honesty, that's what i wanted. i didn't once think about Mike and what i was doing. i didn't even classify it as cheating. i don't know why.
i broke up with Mike over the phone after being at the beach for about 3 days. i started dating Wesley maybe a few weeks after that. when we got back to Nova that weekend, i saw Mike at a local show that i went to with Wesley. he gave me my birthday present; a brand new ipod. honestly, i was amazed. i'm not sure why he would give that to me after all the shit that i did to him.
some people think that i went out with Mike just to get back at him for all the shit that he did to me. but that wasn't what it was, at all. i did like him, very much. but the time had passed. and he blew it. and that's really not my fault. i'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the truth. and because of all the fighting that we did before, during, and after our relationship, we've also ruined our friendship. and that's the worst part.
on another note, i REALLY like Imogen Heap. they're amazing, and everyone needs to go listen to them.