i am sitting on my bed in my house back in Northern Virginia. i have just woken up.
i realize that i haven't been writing in my blog that much at all lately, and i apologize. i'm completely engrossed with art stuff, or have been for the past week.
everyone is home this weekend, and it's basically for one reason: Brad Paisley. he's playing at Nissan Pavilion today. most of Wesley's friends are going to that.
country concerts at Nissan are basically an excuse for underage stupid girls to get rediculously trashed and listen to shitty music. and the guys are there to watch and hope to get lucky.
i did get invited to go, though, and i considered it for a few hours. but the only reason why i turned it over in my head for so long is because Andrew was going. since he blew me off last night i'm not going to see him before he ships for USCG on the 15th. and that kind of sucks. but i'm trying really hard not to think about it.
instead of going and getting wasted with a bunch of 18 - 20 year olds, today i am going shopping with Carolyn (Wesley's little sister) for her homecoming dress. his mom sent me an email like a week ago that was saying how she didn't have a crystal ball, and she doesn't know where me and Wesley's relationship is, but "being with a service man is a very difficult thing". she said that being near me makes her feel closer to Wesley, and that i've become the sister that Carolyn has never really had. that is a very comfortable feeling.
this weekend will probably be extremely stressful. i really really don't know why i continue to come home. katie has a reason -- her boyfriend lives up north, but me, i have NO reason. i'm not allowed to use the car, i have no money, usually there's no one down here other than katie that i can hang out with. it's pretty much all bullshit. the fact that all of Wesley's friends are home for the weekend makes me veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery nervous. throughout the entire month that me and Wesley were dating before he left for Benning, his best friend Ryan made me cry at least 3 times. in person. it was rediculous. i don't know why it bothers me so much that they're here, because i'm sure that i am the last thing on their mind. it just sucks when i'm sitting around doing nothing and they're out getting wasted. i should be doing that. but because i'm limited with transportation, i can't. oh well.
anyway, i saw The Kingdom last night. it was so freaking good. i think that Jamie Foxx really likes the military though, because he's in a lot of military / police movies. but it really doesn't matter because he does a fucking damn good job.