“Can you understand Chinese logic?" a girl asked.
“No.” Brain shook his head a little and cracked a smile.
This question set me thinking. Chinese logic is even confusing to a Chinese, let alone an American boy.
Having being here for about two weeks, I observed that there were a lot of difference between Chinese way of thinking and American way of thinking. If those cultural differences are not dealt with in a proper way, misunderstanding will be bound to occur.
Americans are frank and outspoken. If they don’t want you to go somewhere, they will tell you their real thoughts and feeling. You don’t have to guess to grasp the underlying connotation, whereas Chinese people are more introverted and unclear in expressing an idea. For example, just like what had happened yesterday, a group of students wanted to hang out with interns late at night. When asked about the opinion, the teacher said, “It is up to you.” In this context, “It is up to you” mean “I don’t want you to go. If you go there, I will be upset.” If you don’t grope deeper and only judge from the literal meaning, you will fail to get the actual meaning. Another example, when Chinese are having dinner in American’s home, the host may ask, “Do you want another helping?” Chinese will say, “No, thanks. I have had enough” However, actually, he might be starving to death. He is just waiting the host to ask him again. Unfortunately, the host just takes his word for it.
Americans are quite open to express their love or hatred. If they love you a lot, they will express it in person, whereas in China, things are totally different. If a girl loves a boy very much, she will suppress her feeling and keep dropping hints in the hope that the boy may understand her affection. They will sometimes avoid seeing the boy to test the boy. When a couple has some squabble and the husband began saying sorry to his wife. The wife will probably say, “I will not forgive you. You have made such a terrible mistake.” However, deep down in her heart, she had forgiven her husband. What she need was some more soft words. Chinese don’t want to hurt others’ feeling. So if he is unhappy with your work, he will not point out your mistake in front of you, but discuss it behind your back. That can be a merit as well as a demerit. On the surface, Chinese can get along really well, but they may poison each other’s name secretly. In Bai Yang’s book, “The Ugly Chinese Men” , this kind of mentality is explained in detail.
Chinese respect seniority. It has something to do with Confucianism. In Confucianism, everyone is abiding by the hierarchical system with in the family. The seniors in the family may rule like a king and everyone has to follow his instruction and order. In America, people are influenced by individualism and self-reliance. Everyone is responsible for his own happiness; therefore, people are freer to do what they want within the restriction of law.
Chinese cherish friendship. In China, you always see girls holding their hands together, whereas in America, this kind of action will be considered homosexual behaviors. Chinese people may have fewer friends in all their life, but with each friend, they share a brother-like affection. Americans may have more friends, but their relation will not be as intimate as what is in China.
Because of different thinking pattern and cultural influences, befriending with Chinese people is an art. It takes some speculation and meditation to get the real meaning out of the literal meaning. The Chinese thinking pattern may pose some difficulties when developing relations, but it also contributes to the unique character of Chinese people. Chinese people are born poets. They have delicate sentiments that will poetize and romantisize, (sometimes disaster) whatever they see. Instead of being frank and honest, they tend to use an artistic way to dealing with interpersonal relationship.
If you want to know more about the Chinese thinking pattern and mentality, you can resort to Lin Yutang and Gu Hongming’s book for help. Chinese politics, philosophy, psychology, history, literature are an integral part. You have to first have some knowledge about Chinese thinking pattern to understand all this.