面朝大海, 春暖花开
---海子
Facing the sea, I saw the blossom in the warm spring.
--------Chinese poet, Hai Zi
Virginia Beach, a place for lovers.
There was only myself, the darkness and the roaring sea. I was sitting there, without even a soul around. I don’t know whether you have the experience of being with the sea so closely at midnight alone. The noises and clamors of the day have faded away, leaving only the up roaring silence of cold water. At this time, the sea seems to represent evil and has the thrilling power to devour me. I have met with some difficulties in my life recently and the blue mood had haunted me for a few days. Being a grown-up, I got to know that there are still a lot of things that I cannot comprehend. I can’t understand why it is so hard to make friends with my own classmates. I don’t understand why even my own classmates can be that calculating. I don’t know why people are so up to sabotage and retaliation. If people are busy setting others up, the friendship will be as vulnerable as a reed in the face of storm. When the pain of growing up becomes the pain of grown-up, I understand that the adult world is much more terrifying and complicated. God told us that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. However, I can’t be that tolerant and forgive others’ mistake so easily. Loneliness, fear, uncertainty, frustration have all began attacking me relentlessly. The wall that fortifies me against the coldness of the outside world has been torn down and tears begin to well up in my eyes.
“Facing the sea, I saw the blossom in the warm spring.” this sentence written by a Chinese poet, Hai Zi has warmed my heart for many years. In his poem, he describes an idle and romantic lifestyle. Yet no one can understand why the optimistic and romantic poet chose to end his own life abruptly. I guess he was seized by the dark power of the sea at night.
Yes, the power of sea may cut both ways. Under the sunshine, it embodies romance, brightness and affection. Surrounded by the darkness, it embodies loneliness, despair, and gloom. However, where dose the sunshine come from? I think it is from within people’s own heart.
Now, I am sitting at the same place where I sat last night, watching the same tide coming and going and writing this diary. When I see the greatness of the sea, all the worries seem to be taken away with the withdrawing wave. I know it is not because of the sea, but because of myself. After a whole night of tossing and turning, I finally decide to let go the unhappiness and let the beam of light shine through my heart. There are still a lot of confusions about life. Life is a myth. Many people spend their whole lives trying to figure out the answer, but only ended up being trapped in the paradox of life. It is not that I have decided to give up the searching for the meaning of life. While continuing the tough journey, I will always remember the beautiful sea under sunshine.
Facing the sea, I still can see the blossom in the warm spring. I pitied Hai Zi who was unable to keep the image of sea under sunshine in his heart and chose to terminate his life in a tragic way.
Magic stops here. There is no angel in the world. I have to count on myself to see the angels within myself.
Life goes on, just like the waves rushing to the shore.
Now I am sitting at the beach, watching the hilarious people enjoying the sunshine. What a wonderful day.
An An,
We are going to pull through together~~ Take heart.